For the eyes of Tho. Morgan

34 years

Violettowne

Victoria

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Just remember, Thomas, if not you, then who? Twenty years work and my boys arent interested, Bessie’ll sell the whole lot, the cameras, the paper and chemicals, the cart and Mavis (as you know, just point her in the right direction) to the highest bidder. So its just you. And now youre saying well, he chose, he did it, what do I owe him, and youre right, you owe me nothing, except perhaps the memory, the times we spent photographing those mountains, those fat families and their harmoniums and dead children and the ocean and square-riggers and when you said, Mr Trent, Mr Trent, look at that! don’t we have a spare plate? So heres the bits I didnt show you, and all of its yours now, all of the secrets, and the stuffs in my redroom.

1. There are dozens of glass plates, and when theyre done, reuse the old ones. Equal parts collodion and potassium iodide. Once through, wait a bit, then silver nitrate (and use sparingly).

2. If you havent got an eye yet you never will, but Ive always said you have, you have got an eye, Thomas! Look for the heart of a thing, the bit that makes you feel happy-sad-and-good-and-bad, something, there has to be something in what youre photographing. If the Reynolds want another memento mori (and they will) its because they loved their bubba despite it taking three breaths and dying. You know you cant afford to waste a plate, so keep your eye, son. Say to yourself, would the old bastard have done it? Would he? Dont waste your time on hills, or the moon. Any idiot knows what the moon looks like and it’ll always be there and most people excepting fools dont need reminding.

3. Once it’s done, give it a good hour to dry, longer if you can. While youre waiting, crack your eggs, get your whites, mix your albumen, add the ammonium chloride (1.8%). I may be low, you may need to buy more, I was about to, but as youve probably guessed, my decision was made quickly, this letter even quicker, and now Im dead and gone (praise the Lord!) youll have a few jobs to take care of.

4. Make your mixture, stir, leave it a day, strain it, tip it in the tray on the top shelf (you know the one), make sure you get all the air bubbles, like I showed you, all of them, then soak your paper on one side (like Ive showed you), then your silver nitrate (20%), and remember what weve been doing together since you signed on, Tom. Remember that lady, the old woman in the gaming house and I said it makes a picture of you, maam, and she said that box, it draws a picture of me, and I said it doesnt draw, it makes it, like you and me standing here now, just us, here, now, and she said but how can I be in two places at once! and I said, well, its complex … She was a pitifully stupid woman, Tom, as am I a man, having given up so close to the finishing line, but then again, so much pain Ive avoided. Is this right, Tom? To avoid what Gods set out for us?

5. So now your exposure. Youre best with that job, youre quickest, always were, youll have no troubles. Then, when youre ready, mix your gold chloride with water, and reuse it, you can get ten prints from half a bottle, and dont forget the baking soda, mix well, and I guess this is the bit Ill miss, when the images appear, when a man and woman and child make another life, there, on the paper, still magic, dont you think, Tom, magic? And I told that lady, Johnson or James or something, I showed her and said there you are and there youll be forever, and isnt that a miracle, and she said Im not sure I want to last forever, and I said why not, so your great-great-grandchildren might know what you looked like, and she said a person comes and goes, and has their bita time, and thats all they should expect, and I said no, no, whys that, just cos its always been that? I grant you eternal life, missus! But she wouldnt hear of it, said only God grants eternal life, didnt want to outlast herself, took the photograph (remember?) and ripped it into small pieces and said a person should be grateful for the moment, if thats whats given then who are we to meddle with Gods plan? And maybe she was right, Tom. But our Chemical Art, our art of Light and Life and Death is an act of faith. Do you see that? Life beyond our town, our city, our country, our time, our world, and if thats the case, I might be judged harshly, but at least Ill know (but wont!) you understood, forgave me, carried on our little alchemical church.

6. Where was I? Youve got your paper in your gold-toner, no more than four minutes, time it, Tom, four minutes, and then the most important thing of all, the fixer, because just cos an image is there one moment doesnt mean it will be the next, lots of things can happen, Tom … one minute you see a person then they fade and theyre gone and its an expensive piece of paper with nothing on it, see? So you gotta be careful to fix it properly: bita water, 15% sodium thiosulfate, mix it well, make sure it all goes in. It all fades. Funny, cos theres not a single photograph of me, Tom, so youll only have your memory to rely upon (Bessie and Charlie, too) and isnt that wonderful, like the old lady said, just your bit of time.

7. Wash it well, let it dry, you know how, and watch its not humid, the paper hates humidity, and when its dry put it in a frame and give it to whoever, and watch their face, Tom. Like I said, every man and woman (children are too dumb, I guess) likes to think people will remember them, think well of them. Its all we have to hope for.

8. Then theres the case of money. If you could slip Bessie a few dollars now and then, thatd be nice.

9. And the photograph Ive attached here. 18-something, me and my brother, little kiddies on the pier, and that old man, that Fenton, the one who started all this, who took me on and taught me everything, the first photograph he ever took, he reckons, and Jack and me (bless his soul) were just fishing, and we were happy, and he called across the river, hey, you two, hold still while I take your photograph, and I called whats a photograph, and later, he showed me. See, theres proof that me and Jack were having a good time, nothing but our fishing lines and the sun and the breeze and each other, happy (despite the fifty years of shit that followed). Once, and just for a while, for an hour perhaps, but thats enough, isnt it, Tom?